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Band 6

Many People believe that the increased presence of violence in film and Television these days is responsible for the rising incidents of violent crime among youths in society. They argue that government have a duty to control the media so as to reduce this phenomenon. Do you agree with this argument?

#people #presence #violence #film #television #incidents #crime #youths #society #government #duty #control #media #phenomenon #argument
Nowadays， increasing numbers of people are concerned about the increasement in the juvenile conviction rate. Some even argue that
such
 growth triggered by offensive images from movies . In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
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 I strongly against
such
 an irresponsible statement.
firstly
, a sensible audience should either empathize the shows and movies are fictional or comprehend these are the type of influences they should not touch for now. Of course, children might be vulnerable to uncomfortable scenes on media than adults.Still ,while
such
 a situation happened is the parents should undertake the responsibility to guide the youth .
for example
 ,recent hate crimes which were conducted by teenagers was impacted by some problematic ideas posted by one beloved character. If the adults were there to guide the youngsters, all of these might not happen.
Hence
, I don't think we should control other things which are clearly out of our power. The only thing we can do in
this
 case is to train our kids to master the skill of distinguishing between right and wrong.
Secondly
 ,I do believe the authorities have done enough on controlling .when it comes to entertaining companies which are privately owned, the produces has to go through a strict and thoughtful inspection for labelling
thus
 banned from young children .When it comes to media which are government-owned or private ownership of which the managing director of the company has a close relationship with the government was already generating content with bias ---another type of control .Yet, as we all know ,violent crimes are boosting these days .
thus
 my conclusion in
this
 narrative is either the government were taken all the measures they have or surveillance were useless in
such
 a scenario... In sum, I dissent on the point of view that people are influenced by broadcasting and cinema
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, therefore,
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therefore
 committed transgression affectedly.
Submitted by Sue on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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