IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #projects #wildlife
It is sometimes argued that saving wild animals and their natural habitats would cost a huge amount of state subsidies which should be allocated to other essential projects. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
 view. Clearly, protecting
wildlife
 needs a great deal of money. In many parts of the world, people still keep the outdated thought that parts of the body of natural animals can cure various human diseases, which encourage illegal hunting and trade.
Therefore
, governments have to put considerable resources to prevent these problems and educate local people in order to preserve
wildlife
.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrialization these days would force a host of species to the edge of extinction. If the survival of these creatures
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 properly concerned, some sanctuaries would be built and financially supported to rescue and raise vulnerable and endangered species, which may cost a large national budget. Despite these above arguments, I believe that states should invest in
wildlife
 conservation because its benefits are far more significant than those of other projects.
Firstly
, the survival of wild animals would keep the balance in the food chain. Indeed, maintaining the population of natural birds is an effective way to control the increasing number of insects which could damage crops and bring several serious
infection
Replace the word
infectious
show examples
 diseases for humans.
Secondly
, natural habitats are
also
 crucial for our lives, since primary forests can stabilize the earth’s climate as well as prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soil erosion and flood.
Therefore
, preserving these areas would ensure the sustainable development of human beings. In conclusion,
although
wildlife
 protection can cost a certain amount of money, it seems to me that these projects should be encouraged due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 long term positive impacts.
Submitted by thaihoang613 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • safeguard
  • natural habitats
  • foster
  • cultural of conservation
  • long-term ecological sustainability
  • economic benefits
  • significant source of revenue
  • investment
  • nation’s economic wealth
  • preservation of ecosystems
  • clean water and air
  • prioritization
  • multi-faceted government budgets
  • environmental protection
  • wildlife conservation
  • neglecting
  • detrimental effects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: