IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, it is more convenient and easier for people to travel to other countries. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #travel #countries #development
In these times it is much more flexible and easy for
people
 to
travel
 within
countries
. There are myriad
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pros and cons when it comes to travelling around the world,which has different impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the global platform. Globalization has been instrumental in motivating
people
 to
travel
 to other
countries
 which have a number of advantages.
To begin
 with,
this
 gives
people
 the chance to go and visit other
countries
 and learn about their culture, heritage which can be beneficial to improve their knowledge, and ultimately
this
 would lead to the proper understanding of other ethnic groups without having any misconceptions.
Secondly
, Global tourism is one of the biggest contributors to the economic stability of a country which means more
people
 travelling will help to improve developing
countries
 effectively. As an example, Sri Lanka which is one of the
countries
 in
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
ondepends
Correct your spelling
on depends
depends
 1/3 of their
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 base on tourism which will help them
accordingly
.
On the contrary
, travelling with ease possess a number of threats to the
countries
 as well.
Firstly
, it has been instrumental in promoting and distributing drugs around the world.
For instance
, it is found that 30% of the global drugs are been sent through ordinary passengers who
travel
 for leisure among
countries
.
Furthermore
, terrorist organizations use
this
 as a tool to send their devoters to
countries
 to carry out attacks which can harm the peace and stability of the society.
Finally
, uncontrollable
travel
 will have adverse effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 governments if not thought carefully. In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of positive impacts because of convenient travelling around the world,
countries
 should put in place proper measures to avoid unfortunate global threats which can cripple
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: