Some people think that olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #olympics #waste #money

Nowadays, many believe that taking part in interesting Olympic events is a good way to encourage many different countries's connections.

However

, some state that the government should invest in other primary purposes

instead

This

essay will discuss both sides of

this

phenomenon and state my view. It is obvious that many fundamental fields require the funds of governments

such

as transportation and education.

Firstly

, residents need a convenient road system or vehicles to travel or go to work effectively;

hence

, upgrading transportation is a must.

For example

, in Ho Chi Minh City of Vietnam, because of the large density of the population, there are lots of matters about traffic

such

as traffic congestion on accidents.

Furthermore

, many families cannot afford the fees for their children; leading to the necessity to offer more support finance by giving scholarships.

On the other hand

, joining in Olympic events may grow the interconnection between people and countries. It does not only encourage the physical health of citizens, but it

also

aligns the bonds of distinctive cultures.

Additionally

, participants may know more about other traditions and customs in order to widen their horizons and enhance their progress. To cite an instance, when Vietnamese have a chance to participate in

this

event, it is of assistance to introduce their culture and improve their values effectively through their talents. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that many important fields need the assistance of the government, taking part in the Olympic games is one of the productive ways to meet the demands of people in their lives.

Sat Jun 01 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both views and provides an opinion, fulfilling the task well. However, some examples could be more specific and clearer to enhance understanding.

coherence cohesion

You have a logical organization with clear paragraphs; however, the transition between ideas and coherence could be improved for a smoother flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences and phrases could be rephrased for clarity. Consider varying sentence structure to maintain reader interest.

task achievement

The essay clearly discusses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-defined and provide a good framework for the essay.

task achievement

Providing examples, like the one about Ho Chi Minh City, helps to support your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promotes global unity
Cultural exchange
Economic benefits
Job creation
Tourism
Infrastructure
Active lifestyle
Financial undertaking
Economic burden
Underutilization
Wasted resources
White elephants
Opportunity cost
Critical areas
Social welfare

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Some people think that olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, men and women are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that governments should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's world, it is private companies rather than government who pay for and carry out most on scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on piblic trasport systemssuch as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?