IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world, many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to go to
university
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 to study academic subjects.
However
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, I believe more
people
Use synonyms
 should consider vocational training, as there is a shortage of skilled workers like electricians and plumbers.
First,
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vocational training teaches practical skills that are in high demand.
For example
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, electricians and plumbers are needed in almost every community to fix electrical systems and pipes. Without these workers, many everyday activities would be difficult or impossible.
People
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 with vocational skills can often find jobs more easily because of
this
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 demand.
Second,
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vocational training is usually shorter and less expensive than
university
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 education. Students can start working and earning money much sooner.
This
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 makes it a good option for those who do not want to spend many years in
university
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 or pay high tuition fees.
In addition
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, vocational training can lead to well-paying jobs. Many skilled workers earn good salaries, which can make the career very rewarding.
However
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, some
people
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 may still prefer to attend
university
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 for academic reasons or because they want to work in fields like teaching, science, or business.
While
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university
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 is important for some careers, vocational training is just as valuable for others. In conclusion, I agree that more
people
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 should consider vocational training. It provides important skills for
in demand
Add a hyphen
in-demand
show examples
 jobs and offers a quicker, more affordable path to stable employment. Vocational training is an excellent choice for many
people
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Consider developing your counterargument a bit further, perhaps by mentioning specific examples of academic careers that necessitate university education.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the transitions between your points to make the flow of ideas smoother; for instance, use phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' to link your ideas better.
Task Achievement
Your introduction succinctly states your position, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You provided practical examples of skilled workers, which helped illustrate your argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
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