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Band 5

A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

#zoo #purpose
Keeping wild
animals
 in cages for public exhibition is a tradition that people are performing for a long and for
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
this
 is an amusement and educational purpose for kids while others think it to be a very inhuman act.
This
 is a much-debated issue and I personally find no usefulness of a zoological garden where these
animals
 and birds of different kinds are kept for public entertainment.
First
 of all, the idea of keeping wild
animals
 in cages is really a brutal one and human should not be proud
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 act like
this
. Who has given us the power and authority to forcefully bring
animals
 to zoos and
then
 being hilarious watching their activities? Do our weapon and brain makes us superior and powerful enough to decide the lives of other species? No, if we are superior to those wild
animals
, it is our humanity and superiority of thinking power and where would that humanity is when we encage other species? There are thousands of amusement parks and children parks and we should not make a
zoo
 that would only represent our brutality and the outcry of the
animals
. Have we ever
Correct your spelling
thought
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though
Correct your spelling
thought
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 if a more intelligent species arrives in our territory and encases us
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
 we do to other
animals
, how pathetic that would be for us? Many people would say that those are educational purposes and to let the kids know about those
animals
. But in a
zoo
 what we see are encaged
animals
 with their dismay and helplessness. Children would never learn the true nature of those
animals
 when they would learn it from a
zoo
. Animal Planet and Discovery channels are two better alternatives for children to learn about those wild
animals
 than the
zoo
.
Zoo
Add an article
The zoo
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 many countries are used for commercial purposes and no matter what the authorities do; they can’t ensure a free life for a bird
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 should be flying in the sky rather than trying to escape from the cage. In conclusion, the
zoo
 serves no useful purpose and there are no good reasons to put the
animals
 and birds in cages.
Submitted by ieltsspeaking760 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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