IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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In
this
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 modern ,era
people
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 are working onerously to save their future
life
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,it is true that
people
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 have minimal leisure
activities
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.In my ,perspective folks should maintain an equilibrium in their personal and
work
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life
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. On the one hand,employment is a key part of our
life
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,money is important to attain the basic need of each individual.
However
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,
people
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 nowadays working extra
hours
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 to gain more income.Especially mid-generation folks are working hard and entertaining less.
People
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 think that
,
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entertainment is waste of
time
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.In my opinion,giving
time
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 for fun
activities
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 have a major role in human health.
For instance
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,after working
hours
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people
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 should go out to enjoying their evening
time
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 or to have outdoor dinner with family.After a few
hours
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 outing or exercise
people
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 feel relax gradually they can concentrate more on their
work
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.I personally know one
person
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he
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 dedicated 5
hours
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 only for entertainment
such
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 as walking,swimming or watching a movie.It is the right attitude to attain good health.
On the other hand
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,if there is no rest
time
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 it may adversely affect the individual personal
life
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.Apart from the
work
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,a
person
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 should understand that
,
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apply
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 his or her family is expecting the presence of the particular individual to enjoy with them.Many
people
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 fail to meet the expectation of family members wishes.,Eventually it may lead to the stage of a family break up situation.
People
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 should recognize that
,
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apply
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they are earning for the material as well as happiest
life
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.If the
person
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 is not enjoying their
life
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,
then
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 his
life
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 will be a big zero. To conclude,
work
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 and leisure
activities
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 are the two side of one coin.How hardly a
person
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 is working that much he is deserved to have entertainment.Fun
activities
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 would lift the internal and external health of
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the
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human body.Recent studies show that
,
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apply
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a
person
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 should laugh for 15 minutes daily,it will improve the
life
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 span of the individual from 60 years to 80 years.
Submitted by margushobi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: