IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that we have too many choices these days. To what extent to you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #choices
Thanks to the advancement of technology, we can select anything in many ways. Some people believe that we have a lot of opportunities to choose from. I
similarly
 believe
this
, and two of the principal reasons for
this
 are as follow. Ｏne primary reason is public transport. Globalization is becoming a tendency in recent years. In order to fit the globalization, the authorities have to contribute more effort to construct transportation.
For example
, most of the tourists travel around the world that they can have the chance to buy
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various type of souvenir by aeroplane or train.
Furthermore
, the government
also
 can export products to other country and import a wide range of supplement from other places. Most importantly, we can learn about the local culture, as well as, explore new tourist destinations. One drawback,
however
,
this
 way may cause drug dealer to transport the poisons rapidly.
In addition
 to public transportation, we have many options because the development of the internet is accelerating. Through the evolution of time, more and more digital devices are becoming convenient and affordable.
As a result
, technology has changed significantly our life.
For instance
, Customers can buy different types of clothes through the internet without suffering the jetlag. People
also
 can learn a different field of information on the phone. In conclusion, both public transport and the internet can
also
 have access for us to find different kinds of sources. Even more importantly, though, people have a duty to respect and conserve originality.
Submitted by peggy72323 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: