IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

In today's world, a significant number of animal
species
Use synonyms
 are at risk of
extinction
Use synonyms
, and many have already become extinct.
This
Linking Words
 crisis is attributable to various factors, particularly human activities and habitat loss. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue, it is essential for people to reduce harmful
actions
Use synonyms
 and
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
 environmental care. One of the primary causes of animal
extinction
Use synonyms
 is human activity.
Actions
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such
Linking Words
 as deforestation,
urbanization
Use the right word
urbanisation
show examples
, and intensive agriculture destroy natural habitats, diminishing sources of food and shelter for animals.
As a result
Linking Words
, numerous
species
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 lose their homes, which greatly contributes to their decline.
Additionally
Linking Words
, pollution is another severe outcome of human
actions
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. Emissions from transportation, industrial waste, and agricultural runoff significantly harm the environment by introducing harmful chemicals. These pollutants accumulate in the food chain and habitats, leading to various illnesses in wildlife. To combat animal
extinction
Use synonyms
, several solutions should be considered.
Firstly
Linking Words
, individuals must actively
minimize
Use the right word
minimise
show examples
 activities that threaten animal habitats. To protect endangered
species
Use synonyms
, the establishment of new national parks is crucial.
Such
Linking Words
 areas can provide safe havens for animals to live, feed, and reproduce, ultimately helping to reduce
extinction
Use synonyms
 rates. Another key solution is environmental conservation.
For instance
Linking Words
, to decrease harmful emissions from vehicles, governments should promote the use of electric cars that are entirely eco-friendly. In conclusion, multiple factors contribute to the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of animal
species
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, particularly damaging human
actions
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 and habitat degradation. To mitigate
this
Linking Words
 issue, it is imperative for society to focus on reducing environmentally harmful practices and to take active steps toward preserving nature.

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task achievement
Try to give more specific examples or case studies of endangered species.
coherence
Make sure to link your ideas clearly and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly.
task achievement
In the introduction, you may want to briefly mention why this issue is important.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the key points well.
task achievement
You presented well-reasoned solutions to the problem of extinction.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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