Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To address to issue of sugary
products
Use synonyms
in
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
, they should be more costly to incentivise individuals to consume less
sugar
Use synonyms
. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement that making sugary
products
Use synonyms
more expensive could encourage people to consume less
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
that have high levels of
sugar
Use synonyms
are crucial for society's
overall
Linking Words
health and to deal with
this
Linking Words
problem it is essential to educate properly public. If consumers become more aware of their diets and health , it will be easier to mitigate the consumption of sugary
products
Use synonyms
. To achieve
this
Linking Words
aim, the government's initiatives play a vital role .
For instance
Linking Words
, the Construction of an institute that educates the public about the ingredients of
products
Use synonyms
should be taken into account meticulously by the government.
Therefore
Linking Words
, educating is a more convenient approach to decreasing the consumption of sugary manufactured
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
that ,
instead
Linking Words
of making
products
Use synonyms
more expensive, authorities should put into debate
this
Linking Words
issue and make an agreement to demolish sugary
products
Use synonyms
that are unhealthy for people.
This
Linking Words
is because if a person is addicted to sugary
food
Use synonyms
he or she will going to consume whatever it costs. So, I would recommend decreasing the
overall
Linking Words
sugar
Use synonyms
level in
products
Use synonyms
through consensus with
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
manufacturers.
Thus
Linking Words
, by declining of the level sugary foods and drinks, it will contribute to the betterment of society's health. In conclusion, I believe that other ways to stimulate people to consume less
sugar
Use synonyms
are better than making
products
Use synonyms
costly. Educating the masses about foods and drinks and constructing model institutes for supporting
this
Linking Words
is genuinely helpful to overcome
this
Linking Words
issue.
Also
Linking Words
, reducing the level of
sugar
Use synonyms
in
products
Use synonyms
is a proper way.
Submitted by Yasar Khan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve task response, make sure the points you present directly address the essay prompt. It's important to clearly show how each argument supports your overall stance.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Linking words and phrases can help achieve this. Also, consider structuring your essay in a way where each paragraph expands on a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the response well.
task response
You presented more than one argument to support your stance, helping to show a comprehensive view on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: