Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

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To address to issue of sugary

products

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food

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and

drink

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, they should be more costly to incentivise individuals to consume less

sugar

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. I firmly disagree with

this

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statement that making sugary

products

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more expensive could encourage people to consume less

sugar

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Firstly

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food

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and

drink

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products

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that have high levels of

sugar

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are crucial for society's

overall

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health and to deal with

this

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problem it is essential to educate properly public. If consumers become more aware of their diets and health , it will be easier to mitigate the consumption of sugary

products

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. To achieve

this

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aim, the government's initiatives play a vital role .

For instance

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, the Construction of an institute that educates the public about the ingredients of

products

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should be taken into account meticulously by the government.

Therefore

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, educating is a more convenient approach to decreasing the consumption of sugary manufactured

food

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and

drink

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products

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Besides

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that ,

instead

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of making

products

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more expensive, authorities should put into debate

this

Linking Words

issue and make an agreement to demolish sugary

products

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that are unhealthy for people.

This

Linking Words

is because if a person is addicted to sugary

food

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he or she will going to consume whatever it costs. So, I would recommend decreasing the

overall

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sugar

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level in

products

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through consensus with

food

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and

drink

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manufacturers.

Thus

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, by declining of the level sugary foods and drinks, it will contribute to the betterment of society's health. In conclusion, I believe that other ways to stimulate people to consume less

sugar

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are better than making

products

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costly. Educating the masses about foods and drinks and constructing model institutes for supporting

this

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is genuinely helpful to overcome

this

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issue.

Also

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, reducing the level of

sugar

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products

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is a proper way.

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Mon Aug 12 2024

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task response

To improve task response, make sure the points you present directly address the essay prompt. It's important to clearly show how each argument supports your overall stance.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Linking words and phrases can help achieve this. Also, consider structuring your essay in a way where each paragraph expands on a single main idea.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the response well.

task response

You presented more than one argument to support your stance, helping to show a comprehensive view on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have just moved into a new home and are planning to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter • introduce yourself • describe your plans for the party • invite your neighbour to come

Which of the following factors is the most important when deciding to get a job? Choose one of the options below and provide specific reasons or examples. Location The opportunity to learn various work skills The possibility of a long-term career: Có khả năng làm việc lâu dài

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to the airline. In your letter •explain what has happened •describe the bag and its contents •say what you would like them to do about this problem You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend?