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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development?

#people #world #globalisation #development
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One of the
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
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 currently being debated in
society
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 concerns the issue of
globalization
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 is beneficial. Even though some people think it is
negative
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a negative
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 development. Personally, I believe
globalization
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 a lot of positive effects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, It is clear that
globalization
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 makes people can understand diverse cultures.
For example
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,
currently
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,currently
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 I have a boyfriend who is German and we can understand our two different cultures because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media. After social media developed and
makes
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make
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world
Correct article usage
the world
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 globalized it is easy to search about other countries news and cultures. Without
Use synonyms
globalization
Add a comma
,globalization
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 it will be hard to understand diverse cultural difference.
As a result
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, it is undeniable that
globalization
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 makes people can understand and communicate
each
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with each
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others
Change to a singular noun
other
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 from different countries.
In addition
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, it is evident that because of
globalization
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discriminations
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such
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 as racism problems are decreased.
For instance
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, 20 years ago, many foreigners were not living in South Korea.
However
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, nowadays population of foreigners in South Korea got increased more than 10 times because of
globalization
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.
This
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 leads to change a lot of
discriminations
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about
Change preposition
against
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 other races and the number of racism crimes got decreased in South Korea.
Therefore
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, it is clear that
globalization
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 can
leads
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lead
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 to
solve
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solving
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 the problems of
discriminations
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 in our
society
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. In conclusion, it is undeniable that
globalization
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 lead to our
society
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 makes more diverse and decrease
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of
discriminations
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 problems. For these reasons, I strongly believe that
globalization
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 is a positive development in our
society
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.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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