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Band 5.5

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development?

#people #world #globalisation #development
One of the
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
show examples
 currently being debated in
society
 concerns the issue of
globalization
 is beneficial. Even though some people think it is
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 development. Personally, I believe
globalization
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of positive effects.
Firstly
, It is clear that
globalization
 makes people can understand diverse cultures.
For example
,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
show examples
 I have a boyfriend who is German and we can understand our two different cultures because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media. After social media developed and
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 globalized it is easy to search about other countries news and cultures. Without
globalization
Add a comma
,globalization
show examples
 it will be hard to understand diverse cultural difference.
As a result
, it is undeniable that
globalization
 makes people can understand and communicate
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 from different countries.
In addition
, it is evident that because of
globalization
discriminations
such
 as racism problems are decreased.
For instance
, 20 years ago, many foreigners were not living in South Korea.
However
, nowadays population of foreigners in South Korea got increased more than 10 times because of
globalization
.
This
 leads to change a lot of
discriminations
about
Change preposition
against
show examples
 other races and the number of racism crimes got decreased in South Korea.
Therefore
, it is clear that
globalization
 can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
 the problems of
discriminations
 in our
society
. In conclusion, it is undeniable that
globalization
 lead to our
society
 makes more diverse and decrease
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of
discriminations
 problems. For these reasons, I strongly believe that
globalization
 is a positive development in our
society
.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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