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Band 4

It Is Sometimes Said That People Should Be Encouraged To Get Married Before They Turn 30. Do you agree or disagree?

#people
Some
people
 believe that
society
 should be supported to get married before 30 because it is mutually beneficial to
society
 itself and to the persons.
However
,
this
 essay disagrees with
such
 point of view and
first
 provides an example of a number of divorces among humans of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation and
then
 explains that the intents of elder
people
 are more serious.
First
 of all, family being can not be estimated by only age at which
people
 get married. In the recent
past
Add a comma
,past
show examples
 it was absolutely necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 Russia to get married after graduating a university. A lot of youth followed
this
 rule.
However
, after the
first
 3 years of living together, 7 out of 10 couples divorced because of their different outlooks and purposes.
Such
 a number of divorces
can not be advantaged neither
Rewrite the sentence
can be advantaged neither
show examples
 to
society
 nor
people
.
Second
,
people
 who could not build their own family by 30 need even more support and attention from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. Persons over 30 have realistic and serious plans
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their lives, the majority of them have a good job and financial stability, but do not have time
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 private life.
Therefore
,
instead
 of stimulating young humans to rush to get married,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 should develop a strategy and conditions for elder
people
 to meet a soul mate for dating and creating a family based on their common purposes, interests, and life’s philosophy. In conclusion,
this
 essay disagreed with the idea that encouraging
people
 to be married before 30 will create any advantages and,
moreover
, explains that marriage at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 age
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not guarantee
creating
Change the verb form
to create
show examples
 serious relationships in their families.
Submitted by red-sonya5 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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