IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?

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Urbanisation has caused numerous
issues
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 in today's world. It is inarguable that many
city
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 dwellers face various types of concerns in their
day to day
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day-to-day
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 activities.
This
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 essay will discuss the possible causes and the remedies that can be initiated to overcome the same.
To begin
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 with, many residents who reside in
city
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 limits face environmental
issues
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 as most of them are unable to remove their waste in an appropriate manner.
This
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 has made their living environment unhygienic, leading to numerous health
issues
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.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 the high demand for employment, some of the residents are unemployed as the employers are capable of sourcing manpower at a cheaper rate. To illustrate, many people in the commercial
city
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 of India, Mumbai are in depression as their job security is very low.
However
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,
above-mentioned
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the above-mentioned
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issues
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 can be tackled through the support of the local government and the business community.
Firstly
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, the process of collecting waste should be more methodical and it should be planned in a strategic manner to raise the awareness of the human being to dispose waste responsibly.
For example
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,
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the Netherland
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Netherland
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Netherlands
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 rewards their citizens financially when they dispose of their plastic bottles
to
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at
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 a specific location.
Moreover
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,
large scale
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large-scale
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 organizations can play a vital role in order to reduce the pressure on job security by providing a written guarantee for the jobs of the employees and reduce the job pressure in the cities by creating their factories outside the
city
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 area.
To conclude
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,
although
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the
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apply
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human who resides in cities face several problems
due to
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 environmental pollution and unemployment. These can be solved easily with the support of the local authorities and the corporates by focusing on above mentioned effective methods.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and details to support your points, particularly in discussing the environmental issues and their effects on individuals in cities.
task achievement
Ensure that all topics introduced are fully developed; for instance, you might expand on the effects of unemployment in various sectors.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth, as this could enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your arguments by refining sentences to increase clarity, particularly in the conclusion to solidify your main points.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for a coherent framework.
topic understanding
You have successfully identified relevant problems and proposed solutions, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
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