Studies have shown that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave. Do you agree or disagree ?

#studies #criminals #level #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job

Most of the

criminals

are uneducated so some

people

advise to train and provide them education. They state that

this

will help them to find a job after they leave prison. I strongly agree with

this

because

this

is will help to reduce

crimes

and help for a better society.

Firstly

, the number of

crimes

will reduce in the near future if

criminals

are taught during their time in imprisonment.

Criminals

commit

crimes

because they are not capable of earning

money

. To satisfy the basic needs of life, they loot other

people

. Food and shelter are the basic needs to gratify these needs

people

commit

crimes

because they are not able to buy these. If they are capable of buying these, they will not trouble others.

For instance

, most of the thieves in India are uneducated and for

food

Add a comma

,food

show examples

they loot other citizens. If they are trained during the time they are in prison, they will be able to earn their bread and stop stealing.

Secondly

, society will improve if these

people

are educated.

People

do not become criminal by choice. Bad situations and behaviour force them to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad person. If they are educated, they will be able to handle these situations. They will be strong to handle the outside world. The major reason why

people

commit

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

money

. Once they will be

eduacated

Correct your spelling

educated

, they will be able to earn it with

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

acts.

For example

, most of the

criminals

admitted that they do wrong acts for

money

only. In conclusion,

money

for buying the

basis

Replace the word

basic

show examples

necessities is

major

Add an article

the major

a major

show examples

reason behind most of the

crimes

in the world. I believe if

crimimal

Correct your spelling

criminal

criminals

are taught well in jail, they will find employment in future.

This

will make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society a better place to live and reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

Submitted by Priya on Tue Mar 30 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Studies have shown that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave. Do you agree or disagree ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

some people believe that the fittest and strongest individuals and team always succeed in sports .others think that success in sports depends on mental attitudes.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that too much time and resources are spent on the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should go to kindergarten before attending Primary School while other believe that it is better for children to stay all day with family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.