IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
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Certain people think that after the
age
Use synonyms
 of retirement one should not carry on their
work
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will elaborate why do I think older people cannot carry forward their
work
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, youngsters should get more opportunities to
work
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 as they are the future. If
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
get
Change the verb form
gets
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 a chance to
work
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 at an early will become professional soon.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are updated with
technology
Add an article
the technology
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 they know about to operate electronics correctly. Whereas older people are not familiar with
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 they could not
work
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 effectively in
digitalisation
Correct article usage
the digitalisation
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 world.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays all the office
work
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 is done digitally where 23year old can do more quickly
that
Correct your spelling
than
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 65year old who is aware of the technology and can take time to do.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as you grow older body is not physically active. There are many
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
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 arises after
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
age
Use synonyms
. A young person can
work
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through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 the day without getting exhausted and can
also
Linking Words
work
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 overtime but it is not possible with old
age
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 as they do not have stamina.
For example
Linking Words
, there was a report in Italy as you grow older your speed decreases and maximum productivity become less. In conclusion, one cannot carry on the
work
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 after
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
age
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. youngsters should get a break as
senior
Add an article
a senior
show examples
 citizen would not be possible to
work
Use synonyms
 better.
Submitted by ankitaramane1 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension systems
  • financial security
  • physical and mental health
  • youth unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • fresh perspectives
  • hobbies and interests
  • passionate workers
  • flexible retirement options
  • social security
  • recuperate
  • decades of hard work
  • contribute skills and experience
  • financial difficulties
What to do next:
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