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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

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It goes without saying that the world is becoming increasingly capitalist throughout the years, especially after the cold war.
As a result
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, a great number of individuals believe that they should have a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 in order to achieve happiness. In
this
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 context, it is crucial to understand whether
money
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 is the only alternative to a delightful life and how it could be useful.
Firstly
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, it is undoubtedly true that a career might help people to find
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 in their lives as they accomplish their goals in business. Statistics demonstrate that successful professionals tend to be jubilant worldwide. Take voluntary work as an example.
Although
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 it is an unpaid job, it is believed that employees feel satisfaction by being helpful
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society as a whole.
Likewise
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, parenthood
also
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 plays an important role
at
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in
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 the present days. Several couples claim that they will only succeed if they have children, despite being challenging to bring up a toddler in terms of
money
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.
That is
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 why mothers,
such
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 as mine, usually say that true love compensates
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 lack of overpriced assets since they do not have the best financial condition.
Finally
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, it is undeniable that
money
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 is a concern to many families nowadays, particularly to the poorest ones. It is widely known that there
is
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are
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 a plethora of citizens who can not offer basic needs to their relatives, as an adequate home.
Consequently
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, the shortage of
money
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 can not only bring sufferings to someone
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 aggravate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhappiness. To sum up, no one can deny that wealth does not guarantee happiness.
However
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, from my point of view, it provides a comfortable life for people who can afford
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 services,
such
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 as a renowned school.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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