IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Q) Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#q #people #lives #change
Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people are showing interest
to do
Change preposition
in doing
show examples
 different types of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 or activities in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
However
, mostly, adults are sticking to one type of
work
 only,
due to
 some reasons. In my point of view, both views have their pros and cons.
Moreover
, they will be discussed in the below paragraphs.
Firstly
, in the present generation, most of the teenagers are thinking to explore themselves. So they are showing interest
to do
Change preposition
in doing
show examples
 different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to gain some
experience
 and knowledge.
For instance
, I am an extrovert person, I like to explore myself every moment. Everything in my
life
 I will try to do it differently. Because of doing different types of
work
,
definitely
Add a comma
definitely,
show examples
 we will gain some
experience
 in that
work
.
While
 in
this
 process, we will get to know that, what to do and what not to do in our
life
.
Secondly
, of course, most of the adults believe that knowing one particular
work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will give us more benefits in our
life
. Like getting promotions and it will help to gain a good name in society.
For instance
, my father is a government officer. From 1996 onwards, he is working in the same office as a public employer.
However
, in his career, he had 25 years of
experience
 in the
bank
Replace the word
banking
show examples
 sector.
While
 in
this
 process, he gained a lot of respect, money, and knowledge.
To conclude
, some people were sticking to only one particular
work
, to
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 more
experience
.
while
 some people thought that doing different kinds of
work
, will increase more knowledge about our society. In my opinion, by following both views in our
life
. We will
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by sivahunk32 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comfort zone
  • Proficiency
  • Resistance
  • Stability
  • Monotony
  • Adaptability
  • Personal growth
  • Opportunities
  • Evolve
  • Self-awareness
  • Novel experiences
  • Stagnation
  • Routine
  • Disruptions
  • Fear of the unknown
What to do next:
Look at other essays: