Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

#people #hours

Today there is an upheaval trend about which many workers are accepting overtime work. Personally, it brings some negatives for them

such

as health and mentality. The undeniable fact is nowadays mainstream media have played a crucial role in which make human have to take extra hours working. To explain

this

, since they give people have thought and feeling of scarcity, which

this

creates a survival response and an automatic panic, so it causes us to be more selfish and greedy.

Furthermore

, the old mindset about which parents were likely to do work and accumulated for the

generation still exists to date.

Therefore

, their psychology of theirs always desires to make effort as much as possible to bring a brighter future prospect for their descendants. If everyone does not spend extra hours, they can have to face difficulties relating to finance, because of the fact that the world is undergoing fast-paced growth leading to the surge in the cost of living.

Firstly

, if humans work overtime for a long time, materialism will be able to embed in their mindset. Especially, in a money-based society, money seems to be prioritized the most by almost all employees, along with many factors

such

as the pressure of finance, misfortune background, which

consequently

makes them possible to create an intangible barrier with everybody around and only concern about making money.

Moreover

, their health is one of what they can catch not only illness but

also

psychological problems. Simply, they might have to tackle plenty of things from personal to family or even social issues, which repeat every day in their life. Of course, to a certain extent, they will have to suffer real harm to themselves. In conclusion, the media and outdated traditions are one of the elements to manipulate people and make them believe those are true,

therefore

, I believe that humans will be more or less impacted adversely from working more hours.

Submitted by minhkhoi1099 on Sat Apr 03 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?