IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe the deforestation has a more devastation impact to our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #moment #deforestation #devastation #impact #world
Many individuals believe global warming is the most urgent
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 problem that we are facing currently, while others consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation has a more serious impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our planet. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 view to
this
 statement and provide my opinion.
To begin
 with, global warming is absolutely a concerning matter faced by all countries around the world and needs a joint effort to tackle the problem. Due to the rapidly growing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
world population and economy,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of fossil fuels for generating electricity
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been increasing for both factories production and motor vehicles, which produced many harmful chemicals and pollutant gases to the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. at the same time, it is causing ozone layer depletion and global warming.
As a result
, it is possible that all human beings and animals might be
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
 in the future. To prevent
this
happening
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
, both the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and individuals should be responsible and take necessary action
such
 as minimizing the use of fossil fuels and replaced it with sustainable
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
environmentally
 friendly resources,
solor
Correct your spelling
solar
colour
-energy or battery-powered vehicles.
On the other hand
,
spread
Add an article
the spread
show examples
 of human habitant and urbanization
as well as logging operations for paper production
Add the comma(s)
, as well as logging operations for paper production,
show examples
 is causing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
serious deforestation. The habitat for
million
Correct your spelling
millions
show examples
 of species can result in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extinction and in an ecological imbalance. Once a species is lost, it cannot be brought back anymore.
Furthermore
,
Correct article usage
the lost
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of plant and animal species can affect human's health
interms
Correct your spelling
in terms
 of food and medical research for the development of treatments.
Last
 but not least, it will worsen the situation of global warming as there are not enough trees to absorb greenhouse gases.
Correct your spelling
Government
Goverment
Correct article usage
The goverment
show examples
 should introduce better law to control and ban the cutting down of forest. To conclude, everyone should consider protecting the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 as the top priority. Addressing the global warming and deforestation problem are equally important to ensure the safety and wellbeing of our planet.
Submitted by rachel_mw1214 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: