It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaivour to children?

There is an argument about the necessity of punishing the kids to learn the comparison between right and wrong at their first age. More or less, I agree with
this
issue but maybe it really depends on the situation.
In other words
, the intensity of punishing is crucial. Generally, as children have incompleted minds, they do not think about the results of their behaviours and they will not do anything because they suppose that they have freedom
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their whole
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life. In my opinion, the role of
parents
and teachers will be important. At an early age even if
parents
are going to have a baby, they should get information about the kid’s characteristics. The basic rules can be the way of greeting other people especially older individuals. Expressing their gratitude, style of eating food or drinking water, and other items by doing actively by themselves because talking is not enough and children usually do not care about it. In some cases, these methods can not work. So,
parents
or teachers must make them aware of the consequences.
For example
, throwing the trash not only has a penalty but it shows personality. There are other situations in which
parents
should make some punishments.
For instance
, when the kids are doing dangerous actions like plugging in electric devices, playing with knives and other stuff,
parents
have permits not to bring their children to the park or buy toys for them.
Similarly
, the teachers can put their grades down when kids are fighting each other. In conclusion, when the punishment is good
parents
should analyse the condition and show the proper reaction at that time. I believe that
this
type of punishment can have destructive results if older people do not pay attention .
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well, but some ideas lack clarity and depth. Try to expand on each point with more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position. Your conclusion should summarize your key arguments and restate your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas smoothly. Use more cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Avoid long sentences that can be confusing. Break them into shorter, clear sentences to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provide reasonable points and examples to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: