IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is important for governments to spend more money putting in famous works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

How to make
cities
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 better places to live is a major concern for many government departments. Among the various approaches proposed, one that stands out is investing in the installation of well-known
art
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 pieces and statues throughout urban areas.
While
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 investment in
such
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projects
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 offers certain benefits, allocating government resources to urban
beautification
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 efforts would ultimately be a waste. It can be argued that investing in public
art
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 and
beautification
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projects
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 can foster national pride and contribute to a city’s unique identity. Well-designed public spaces that incorporate
art
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 can make
cities
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 more attractive, drawing tourists, encouraging social interaction, and improving residents’ emotional connection to their surroundings. In fact, aesthetically pleasing environments have been shown to reduce stress levels, providing residents with a more uplifting and positive urban experience.
This
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 argument notwithstanding, other more important matters should take precedence. First and foremost,
cities
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 today face more pressing problems that demand immediate attention and funding. Issues
such
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 as housing shortages, traffic congestion, pollution, and inadequate public transportation systems have a direct and daily impact on residents’ quality of life. Investing public money into solving these problems would provide tangible, long-term benefits,
whereas
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art
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 installations,
although
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 visually appealing, offer no practical improvement to the urban experience.
Moreover
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,
beautification
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 through statues and artwork often serves only a small segment of the population, particularly tourists or
art
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 enthusiasts, rather than addressing the broader needs of all residents. Public funds should prioritise inclusive
projects
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 that benefit the majority,
such
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 as building parks, upgrading healthcare facilities, or creating safer pedestrian zones. These initiatives not only enhance the visual appeal of a city but
also
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 improve public health, safety, and community well-being. In conclusion,
although
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 investment in public
art
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 and
beautification
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projects
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 can offer certain cultural and emotional benefits, it should not be prioritised over addressing the more urgent challenges that
cities
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 face today. By focusing on essential services
such
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 as housing, transportation, and public health,
cities
Use synonyms
 can create better environments.

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task response
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your position. Make sure to strengthen your thesis statement for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and each paragraph has a clear main idea. Use more linking words to improve flow between ideas.
task response
While you have good arguments, including a specific example or case study can make your points stronger and more convincing.
task response
You have provided a balanced view by acknowledging the benefits of public art while presenting your counterarguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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