Many governments spent a lot of money on art. Some people think that this investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In present years, governments have been spending huge budget on art
such
as music. It is believed by few people that investment in
this
department is irrelevant by authorities whereas others reckon that
health
and
education
department can only be improved if the enormous
amount
would be allocated in
this
sector. Both viewpoints will be examined throughout
this
essay and will
also
highlighting
Change the verb form
highlight
be highlighting
show examples
highlight their importance.
To begin
with, expenditure spending
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount
on
education
increases the literacy rate that could
will
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
be helpful for holistic development.
Consequently
, students can perform various experiments if they get proper equipment in the laboratory which is possible only with the financial support of
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the local government. Recently, In India, the administration has released a hefty
amount
for quality
education
as well as for modern classrooms that will aid to improve the academic result . Moving forward to
health
,
however
, the world
health
organization had fixed a budget for every nation that will support to reduce serious concern on healthcare segment, some countries still have not inclined towards
this
area that might adversely affect the future.
On the other hand
, neglecting the importance of art will be dangerous because art can produce
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
atmosphere through music, dancing and many others as it is one of the interesting subjects in the past couple of years by which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it showcased a healthy environment.
For instance
, In India, the central government has had been given an instruction to state body in which it is suggested to must provide 20% of their revenue
amount
towards
this
particular area. Because of that, the country got 14th ranks in happiness index
last
month. In conclusion, I would say that the government should equally give distribute their attention to
health
,
education
and craft department so that
this
will give better result in the future.
Hence
,
equally
Correct article usage
an equally
show examples
equal contribution of funds would be a milestone.
Submitted by Arpit on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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