#Crime | #Education - In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

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Introduction

In contemporary society, there has been a global shift in the educational sector, notably marked by a significant increase in bad

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

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among students. it is my contention that

this

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phenomenon is primarily attributed to a lack of household discipline and

parents

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have a duty to incorporate stricter rules to mitigate

this

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trend.

Therefore

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this

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essay aims to explain the cause, whereafter a solution will be given.

Body · 1

The main problem of

this

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exodus is that poor manners are tolerated at

home

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. To illustrate

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, a study done at

Home

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Affairs found that 75% of

parents

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consider their children to be adults,

whom

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for whom

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they have no rules. Given

this

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, most children have the freedom to participate in online activities, be on their smart devices, and stay out as late as they want.

Therefore

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, the concatenation of these events causes momentous problems for teachers, because students expect the same freedom that they have at

home

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Thus

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due to

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no parental control, learners are refusing to show any respect for their educators.

Body · 2

Though

such

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problems have been going on for quite some time, there is the solution of incorporating better standards at

home

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For example

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, in the magazine

Parents

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United, an article mentioned that guardians should teach their children to be responsible and humble by introducing them to a rewarding system.

Additionally

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, good behaviour can rather be rewarded with screen time, internet availability or video games, hereby a child might learn more moral values.

Hence

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, establishing different parental styles might prove to solve bad behaviour in schools.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

it is clear that

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a lack of discipline at

home

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causes poor manners at school. Yet I believe, if

parents

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instil better standards at

home

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then

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it may well become possible to offer some better behaviour at school.

jessicajreichel

Apr 6, 2024

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Essay Structure

Ensure the introduction sets a clear outline of what the essay will discuss to guide the reader.

Supporting Details

Try to include a wider range of examples and evidence that support your main points. This could involve citing additional studies, real-world examples, or statistical data.

Solution Development

When discussing solutions, it's helpful to explore and evaluate their potential impact in more depth. For instance, discuss how the reward system may change student behavior over time and if there are any drawbacks or challenges to consider.

Language Use

Consider varying your sentence structures to add interest and complexity to your essay. This can also help to make your argument more engaging and easier to follow.

Conclusion

For an even stronger conclusion, restate your main points and emphasize the significance of the proposed solutions in relation to the problem identified at the beginning. This will strengthen the overall coherence of your essay.

Structure

Your essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining the logical flow of ideas.

Task Response

The topic is addressed comprehensively, responding to both parts of the question: the causes and the solutions. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirement.

Supporting Details

You've used relevant examples to support your points, such as the study from Home Affairs and the article in Parents United magazine. These examples add credibility to your arguments.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

aggressive behavior
indiscipline
overcrowded
cyberbullying
interactive teaching methods
reward systems
parental involvement
classroom management
effectively

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#Crime | #Education - In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

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