Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family, including uncles, aunts and grandparents, is better, rather than only by parents. Do you agree with this statement? Give your opinion and examples.

#people #children #uncles #aunts #grandparents #parents

It is argued that a child should stay with their joint family including all the members because it is more beneficial for

children

However

, others believe that individuals should stay only with their mother and father. I agree with the statement because it will help them to learn moral values and build a strong connection with others. There are a lot of advantages when

children

keep in touch with every family because of that they would know how to behave their elders.As each member of the family has unique nature that helps them to understand how to deal with real-world people.

Besides

this

, when

children

live with the family they know the importance of honesty, truth, values, and respect since

Remove the comma

apply

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they have spent quality time with people who are double the age as them.

For example

, in ,India most of the

children

live with the whole family which teach them and everything and when they grow up they represent their background and culture.

On the contrary

, the individuals who brought up only by parents sometimes are short-temper and mischievous just because nowadays both the parents are working and they do not have enough time to spend with their

children

so in order to avoid the situation they fulfil the demands of their offsprings and when

children

don't get what they want it gets irritated and rude. For ,instance in ,Australian a number of parents are working and they hand over the gadgets

such

as iPad, iPhones to their kids at an early age and when they stop them from using them for long hours they start screaming. In conclusion,

although

there are some facilities of the neutral family for the better development of the offsprings it is good to raise them by staying with along the joint family as it helps them to become a better person in the society and behave well with everyone

Submitted by daisysharma0087 on Mon Apr 05 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family, including uncles, aunts and grandparents, is better, rather than only by parents. Do you agree with this statement? Give your opinion and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today, more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

Many people believe that a person’s culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that it has only minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.