Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

A large number of young learners opt to take a gap
year
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before they enter
university
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in order to travel or to participate in an internship. I personally think
this
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thought is beneficial, as
such
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opportunities can offer diverse insights and lead them to explore their job interests.
First,
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travelling can provide them with precious cultural insights and experiences that they can gain only through travelling.
This
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is because going abroad exposes them to a wide range of cultures and languages, which can broaden their perspectives
as well as
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their sense of values.
For instance
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,
according to
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some statistics conducted by the Japanese Administration in 2019, 80% of
university
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students at Kyoto
University
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, who took a gap
year
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to go abroad, said that their experience in foreign countries was significantly helpful when they studied their majors ,
such
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as linguistics and sociology , in depth, considering a variety of perspectives which they gained abroad.
Next,
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taking part in an internship in their youth can
also
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bring you some benefits, especially in terms of practical skills and knowledge of the job market. Most teenagers are likely to enter
university
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right after graduation from high school without work experience.
However
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, by participating in internships, they can decide which job market is more suitable for them in advance,
consequently
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enabling them to focus on what they need to study for their future career. To illustrate
this
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, in the U.S, a majority of high schools recommend students to take part in internships before entering
university
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, as it is profitable for them to learn their interests and suitable professions through working in companies. In conclusion, a lot of teenagers tend to take a
year
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off from education to travel or to accumulate experience through career practices. I strongly believe that
this
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tendency is beneficial because the
year
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broadens perspectives and enables them to learn what to study before going back to education.

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task response
Have a clear view at the start. State your stand in the first line and keep it in all your ideas.
task response
Give more real details to back each idea. Use simple facts or small examples you know well.
coherence cohesion
Fix small word use and places where the meaning is not clear. Check 'travelling' vs 'traveling' and 'in the U.S' punctuation.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with small words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'however'. Use good order of paragraphs.
content
Clear view on the topic and good plan
structure
Two main ideas are easy to see
style
Use linking words to show the flow of ideas

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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