IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheels. Some people think the most important thing is the Internet. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#inventions #history #wheels #people #internet
The quality of human beings' lives has become better and better with each invention, and each one of them was essential for human progress.
However
, I entirely agree that the
Internet
 is the most important invention that has made the world a global village.
Firstly
,
Users
 can make affordable voice or video calls to friends and relatives worldwide from their mobile phones using applications
such
 as Whatsapp and it just needs an
internet
 plan.
For example
, In India, the cost of a basic phone plan is around Rs 200 per month.
Secondly
, Social networking platforms enable us to join a global community of
users
 who share similar interests.
For instance
, people leverage Facebook as a platform for sharing common interests.
Finally
, there are many more benefits,
such
 as online shopping. For an illustration, With the click of a button, buyers can book movie tickets, travel tickets, etc., without moving out of their houses. Admittedly, Despite all the above benefits, there are some issues with the social media platforms on the
Internet
.
Users
 post malicious gossip or false information on these channels. For illustration, negative postings on religion, etc., could create communal disharmony.
Also
, the more time people spend online, the less they spend with people in their immediate surroundings.
For example
, Children spend more time playing online games rather than with their families and friends.
Consequently
, they lose personal touch with one another. Another point is that only about a half of the world's population has
internet
 access. In conclusion, Every invention had its place in history.
Nevertheless
, the
Internet
 is a great gift bestowed on mankind in
this
 century, and its uses are innumerable and far outweigh any minor problems it poses to its
users
.
Submitted by srinivaskaturi73 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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