Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is often said that

Remove the comma

apply

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music

is the connecting bridge between different society,

age

groups and even countries too. I do agree with the

writer

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written

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statement and I will

eloborate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

this

essay that how

music

play

Change the verb form

plays

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a major role.

To begin

with,

music

has

neutral

Correct article usage

a neutral

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communication path for all the cultures in the world. if

enhace

Correct your spelling

enhance

the soal's deepest though and express in melodious voices and songs which accumulate all the people, whether he or she from any region or religion.

For example

, India has

number

Change the article

a number

the number

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of states which have their own thinking process, rituals, cultures;

however

, it

collabrate

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collaborate

all person's in

single

Add an article

the single

a single

show examples

bridge.

In addition

, one

music

director can unite all types of professionals from various cities of

country

or nations and compose a fabulous sound which can put us in

mood

Add an article

the mood

a mood

show examples

of swing.

Furthermore

, there is no

age

limit to

listen

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tolisten

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the

music

although

different

age

people enjoy their songs with any

age

group person.

Besides

, it is frequently noticed that even if you am from any

country

, but you like any nation's

music

or song, and you can enjoy it with any range of

age

person.

For Instance

, when we go for visiting any European

country

where

numberous

Correct your spelling

numerous

clubs running with enhanced sound system but we do visit that place and participate in dancing with their culture and any

age

of citizen which rejuvenate our mood and joined all

toghether

Correct your spelling

together

. In conclusion,

Music

does not have any barrier in terms of culture,

country

religious

Replace the word

religion

show examples

age

. It is the

defination

Correct your spelling

definition

of unity.

Therefore

, I believe that

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apply

show examples

music

is kind of way to attach everyone with their province and customs without any restriction.

Submitted by pateljigneshn on Tue Apr 06 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

More and more companies are allowing employee to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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