IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many museums charge for the entries while others are free? Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission for museum outweigh disadvantages?

#museums #charge #entries #people #admission #museum
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Many
museums
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 around the world are imposing
fees
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 for the visit but some of it waives their entry
fees
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 for the visitors.
Museum
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are
Change the verb form
is
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cultural
Add an article
a cultural
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 heritage for every country and
also
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 it is transmitting the history of ancestors to
next
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 generation. I am inclined to believe the merits of charging the public for the permit is far outweigh its demerits.
To begin
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 with, most people at least have visited the
museum
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 once in their lifetime. It is a proud symbol of the culture and customs of indigenous society.
Therefore
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, every
museum
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 should preserve and maintain to the core. If
museums
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 are charged for entry, which can limit the visitors, and eventually it can be prevented from exploitation. Many famous tourist attractions have already been damaged by overcrowded
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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.
Furthermore
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, ancient monuments and antique arts in the
museum
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 need to be kept intact. The preservation techniques cost thousands of dollars annually. The maintenance cost would be a burden for the government.
Instead
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, the charged entrance
fees
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 for the visitor can utilize for
it's
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its
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 expenditures.
However
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, the payment for the visitors could inhibit the arrival of local people.
Thus
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 the young
populatuon
Correct your spelling
population
 in the locality would not be able to know the culture, inherited arts and other forms of traditions.  To conclude, charging
fees
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 for the viewers in
museums
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 will minimize the visitor and
therefore
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 it can be prevented from exploitation.
Hence
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 the benefits of entry
fees
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 of
museums
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 outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by ssibath on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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