IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill

#people #levels #education #schools #universities #time #facts #skill
There is no doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 nowadays most of
students
Add an article
the students
show examples
 are lack
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
 good practical
skills
. Some people
thinks
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think
show examples
 that studying
academics
 are important, others believe that outside
skills
 are necessary. I strongly agree that practical exposure is important rather than theoretical
skills
. Let us discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
show examples
 detail below.
To begin
 with,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 discussion more time spending on
academics
. In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 secondary schools syllabus
are
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is
show examples
 designed with
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of topics
instead
 of practical sessions. To explicate, 8th to
10th grade
Add a hyphen
10th-grade
show examples
 classmates are spending time
on
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apply
show examples
understanding the concepts and writing exams without any outside knowledge.
For example
, recently Oxford university conducted a survey in the school
academics
, interestingly 70%
students
byhearts
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byheart
show examples
 their courses for getting good marks.
In addition
, most of the colleges do not have adequate infrastructure. To elaborate, some countries are giving permissions to start college without inspecting the lab facilities.
As a result
, teachers mainly concentrated on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academics
 only
instead
 of teaching
practical
Replace the word
practice
show examples
 sessions.
For instance
, In 2019 a brilliant student from one of the top university
from
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in
show examples
 Singapore showed good academic results, but he failed in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 top company practical interview.
Furthermore
, private school operators are majorly concentrating on
students
 ratings and achievements only to attract more public.
As a result
, new teenager’s are not good enough in their creativity due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of practical
skills
. To encapsulate,
although
 studying theoretical facts are beneficial in terms of improving subject knowledge, it is important to consider that government and school management should take proper action to invest money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the practical equipment’s to enhance
students
 carrier growth.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education system
  • curriculum
  • factual knowledge
  • practical skills
  • critical thinking
  • problem solving
  • academic achievement
  • real-world application
  • balance
  • integration
  • learning outcomes
  • employment opportunities
What to do next:
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