IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: •say about the concert •say why you are unable to go •inform how your friend can receive the ticket

#music #concert #ticket #offer #friend #•say #•inform
Dear Ram, Hope you are doing splendidly! I have something exciting to offer you, which is that Diljit is coming to our area for his concert. He will be performing in Scotia Arena on 20th
october
Change the capitalization
October
show examples
, 2024 in Toronto. It will be great opportunity to see our favourite star performing live.
Additionally
, there will be bars, food trucks and rides as well. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the concert because my boss is organising a special meeting with all
Correct pronoun usage
my collegues
show examples
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 regarding promotions within the company. So, it is a great chance for me to get
promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
show examples
 as a manager. That's why I
can-not
Correct your spelling
cannot
show examples
 miss the opportunity. For that reason, I would like to offer you the tickets for free because I don't want to waste money. Please let me
Know
Fix capitalization
know
show examples
 how would you like to collect the tickets; either you can pick up
tickets
Correct article usage
the tickets
show examples
 from my house or I can send you electronically. You can choose any way of collection
according to
 your convenience. Please let me know what works best for you. With best wishes Lina
Submitted by lakhykharoud.lk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You should include the specific details about the concert right at the beginning, before introducing why you cannot attend. This ensures a smoother flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'collegues' which should be 'colleagues', and 'can-not' which should be 'cannot'. Paying attention to these details will improve the overall impression of your letter.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and friendly greeting and closing, which adds a personal touch to the letter.
task achievement
Your letter has an appropriate and polite tone, suitable for the purpose of offering a ticket to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: