IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing we can do to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

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There has been a remarkable increase in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who think that an individual’s character is decided by some genes beforehand we are born and
this
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 default uniqueness cannot change afterwards. From my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 opinion has some deficiencies which show I disagree with them. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain what my opinions are and why I think differently.
First
Linking Words
 of all, when
people
Use synonyms
 are born their parents are accountable for their children and they undertake
this
Linking Words
 significant burden automatically.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents can nurture their children as their please in time.
Therefore
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, individuals can be designed by their close relatives.
For instance
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, according to a survey having been conducted by the Newyork Times, many company’s administrators saw as a role model for their mother and father.
On the other hand
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, the human being is a social creature. What I am trying to say is that
people
Use synonyms
 have in common called verbal or written communication.
Therefore
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, humanity inevitably can affect each other’s attitude, triumph or failure and
this
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 circumstance reflect on our peculiarity.
Moreover
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, a person might be got advice from him friends, teachers or counterparts which absolutely plays a great role in our advancement. To illustrate, according to some reports have been published by a prospering psychologist, if a young’s entourage is full of successful contemporary, the probability of achievement is high. In light of
this
Linking Words
 information mentioned above, it can be clearly said that there is no unchangeable feature of
people
Use synonyms
 because of some situations which
people
Use synonyms
 are in.
Thus
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, the opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 alteration of our characteristic traits depends on our acquaintance and parents who are answerable for us while we are growing up.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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