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Band 6

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#consideration #career #job #income
It is often argued that having a
job
 with a high salary is more
adventageous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 than having to work in a field that does not appeal to you at all.
Nevertheless
, I strongly disagree with
this
 claim and think that
job
satifaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 is by far the main aspect to consider when choosing
an
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apply
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employment
Replace the word
employer
show examples
.
Firstly
, being happy with the chosen occupation will provide individuals with a sense of fulfilment
than
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 any money can guarantee.
Therefore
, pursuing one's dreams will always bring sheer happiness and a feeling of satisfaction, rather than having to work for merely monetary interests that certainly will bring frustration and prevent
people
 from the enjoyment of life.
For instance
, most
of
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apply
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artists
Add an article
the artists
show examples
 chose their career
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 for economic reasons but based upon their passions and talents.
Thus
, the bliss of having
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 desired
job
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is greatly superior
than
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to
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 only working for money.
Secondly
,
perfoming
Correct your spelling
performing
 a
job
 that humans really enjoy, provides a high level of motivation and productivity which might lead to
a
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apply
show examples
career growth.
That is
 to say, there is a strong correlation between
job
 satisfaction and productivity. Those who enjoy what they are doing
,
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apply
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 will exceed the expected results in their
job
 than others who put the salary in the
first
 place.
For example
, many
people
 leave their well-paid jobs to become what they have always dreamt and after ups and downs, normally they become the most successful
people
 in their fields.
Thus
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of jobs that keep humans satisfied
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the drawbacks of having a lower income position in a long-time perspective. To conclude, I completely agree that
job
 satisfaction has an enormous positive impact on
people
's lives because it brings happiness and motivation.
Submitted by jessicalorenagonzalezb on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • passion
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • societal impact
  • income disparity
  • material success
  • monetary compensation
  • wealth accumulation
  • economic well-being
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