IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of social networking sites impacts,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
Facebook
Use synonyms
, have been raising a lot of debates. Some might say that these sites have been proving
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 beneficial effect to
an individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
individuals
an individual
show examples
 in term of providing a variety
tool
Change preposition
of tool
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 for communication and connection.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, others insist the opinion that the risks of personal
information
Use synonyms
 leaking for social communities have been
threathen
Correct your spelling
threatened
 by
hacker
Add an article
a hacker
the hacker
show examples
. Viewing from
general
Correct article usage
a general
show examples
 perspectively, I personally agree with the former opinion
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from all over the world can communicate with each other by using social media.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 use
Facebook
Use synonyms
 to make friends so that we can have at least 5000 friends on our friend list which is so hard for one person to reach out
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
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 in reality.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students abroad can use
Facebook
Use synonyms
 to keep in touch with their family.
Secondly
Linking Words
, by using
Facebook
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 can update news and
information
Use synonyms
 anytime around the world. By
then
Linking Words
, we enable to join the studying group on
Facebook
Use synonyms
 to exchange
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
studying
Change preposition
of studying
show examples
 method and knowledge.
Finally
Linking Words
, after
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
 working day, watching some movie or playing
game
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
 on
Facebook
Use synonyms
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 us to release our pressure and stress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 worried that the threat of being hacked their
information
Use synonyms
. Hacker can use personal
information
Use synonyms
 for bad purposes when we post our picture or share our activities on
Facebook
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, we can proactively manage to minimize
these threat
Change the determiner
this threat
these threats
show examples
 by not posting much personal on social networking sites. We can
also
Linking Words
 take advantage of using
Facebook
Use synonyms
 to promote our business
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 selling product on it. In conclusion,
Facebook
Use synonyms
 and social media tools have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mankind which have been by far outweighed the disadvantages.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
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