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Writing Samples
Band 5

Schools have limited amount of money to spend.some people suggest that it should be sent on good teachers, while others say it should be spent for buying equipment like computers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
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 modern world, knowledge is regarded as the prime requisite for human survival. Educational institutions have scarce resources to spend on the well-being of their
students
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.
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Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
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 it is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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a controversial issue whether the expenditure is to be done for acquiring eligible faculty or to purchase modern devices like computers. Both these sides
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be discussed in detail in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, talented tutors are necessary for the comprehensive development of the
students
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. To elaborate,
firstly
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, teachers could guide
children
Use synonyms
 in the right direction since they spend most of their productive time in schools.
Secondly
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, the good faculty could
also
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 motivate their
students
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. Thereby would build confidence in
children
Use synonyms
 to improve
further
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.
For instance
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, a good teacher could motivate below-average pupils individually to improve their performance would definitely be an encouragement for
such
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children
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. At the same time, in spite of the good faculty, if the institution is deficient in proper study equipment could affect the comprehensive training of pupils. To explain, as the classroom hours are limited,
students
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 require sufficient resources
such
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 as the Internet and computers to enhance their knowledge.
Moreover
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, lecturers could use those devices to increase the attention span of
children
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, in most schools, the trainers use sound effects and coloured
illustration
Fix the agreement mistake
illustrations
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 to enhance the listening
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 of
students
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.
Hence
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,
to conclude
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, in my opinion, both good teachers,
as well as
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 the right devices, are mandatory for the right development of
students
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. School authorities have to divide their available resources equally for the well-being of their pupils.

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grammar
Use clear sentence flow and short ideas. Break long lines into two.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence. Keep one main idea per paragraph.
content
Give more simple examples that fit the topic and support each point.
lexical
Use plain words. Avoid big or tricky words when you can.
editing
Check spelling and small errors like punctuation and name forms.
structure
The essay shows a plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
It tries to show both sides and give a view.
coherence
There are some good linking words and examples to back up ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • money
  • spend
  • spend on
  • cost
  • price
  • value for money
  • priority
  • quality
  • teacher
  • teachers
  • class size
  • teaching
  • training
  • professional development
  • motivation
  • feedback
  • learning
  • student
  • pupil
  • learner
  • equipment
  • computers
  • devices
  • tech
  • digital
  • access
  • information
  • skills
  • practice
  • learning tools
  • distance learning
  • maintenance
  • repair
  • long-term
  • short-term
  • impact
  • benefit
  • advantage
  • drawback
  • balance
  • planning
  • investment
  • policy
  • implementation
  • monitoring
  • outcome
  • success
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