Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued whether money or social contributions should be considered as the criteria to assess a person’s success in
society
. In my opinion,
although
the former view can be true in some situations, the latter is more reasonable due to several reasons. On the one hand, there are many reasons why
people
believe that individuals who earn high incomes are the most successful.
Firstly
, it is an irrefutable fact that those
people
who have a high salary are usually working in big companies or having good jobs.
This
can be exemplified by the case of successful executive leaders of some large businesses, who not only gain respect from others but
also
still earn many thousand dollars on a monthly basis.
Secondly
, it is believed by a majority of
people
that successful
people
means those who can afford a luxurious life.
In other words
, they can enjoy the high living standards with prohibitively expensive products
such
as
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
, clothes and cosmetics.
On the other hand
, I am still convinced that
people
who contribute to the community are the most successful.
To begin
with, not all wealthy
people
gain their money legally because they may commit crimes to make profits like trading heroin and money laundering.
Therefore
, these cases cannot be considered as successful despite their richness.
Besides
,
people
like scientists and teachers, who contribute to
society
are believed to be the most successful in terms of their in-depth knowledge and high social status. To be more specific, being a scientist or a teacher is not easy, so
people
have to spend a long time and effort acquiring knowledge so that they can satisfy the requirements of those high-level jobs.
Therefore
, they will receive respect from other
people
and be recognized as the most successful in
society
. In conclusion, being rich can be considered to be successful,
however
, I hold a firm belief that
people
who contribute to
society
are the most successful ones.
Submitted by Uyen Dinh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: