IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #person #culture #country #origin #influence
The issue of people believing that a person’s culture is defined by their
country
 of origin has raised a lot of debate.
In contrast
, others think that the former statement has only a minor influence on the culture of an individual.
Thus
, in the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views and give my personal opinion on the topic.
Firstly
, it is crucial to say that the cultural background of a person, highly depends on
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
show examples
country
 of origin. On the one hand, each place has its own traditions and specific characteristics
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
language and religion.
On the other hand
, the people who live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there, have their personal habits, which they share with other
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
.
For example
 in Italy, Italians use to meet friends for dinner and enjoy cooking together and talking about arts and history.
This
 contributes to the enrichment of their own culture and defines their personalities. Meanwhile, others believe that
country
-specific habits do have a little impact on individuals. A very important aspect
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that a huge amount of people have different origins and
thus
 don’t feel part of any community.
For example
, when kids are frequently changing schools and
country
, because of their parent’s job, they don’t have the time to learn about new cultures. In
this
 case, it is difficult to demonstrate that their original nation had a huge effect on their personal assessment. All in all, I believe that personal knowledge and experiences made in the own
country
 of origin, help
improving
Change the verb form
to improve
show examples
 the character of each individual.
Submitted by anna.cipolletta14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: