Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

#people #parties #birthday #celebrations #waste #money #individuals #society

In the modern world, throwing

dinner

can be challenging for its organizers.

However

, there is an opinion that it can create a new society, which is more organized and cheerful. Personally, I reckon that celebrations’ number should be limited in order to make a conscious society. It is widely known that

ordinary

Correct article usage

the ordinary

show examples

crowd spend a significant amount of money on the celebrations of celebration,

such

as weddings, birthdays and graduation.

Consequently

, they can face a shortage of money after the celebrations. A good illustration of

this

is weddings in Central Asia, where citizens take loans and credits in order to celebrate

dinner

Furthermore

dinner

can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.

That is

to say, not controlling your diet can lead to the deterioration of well-being. To illustrate, many party animals are suffering from diseases relating to their digestion.

On the other hand

such

kinds of events can be beneficial for individuals as well as for society.

First

of all, it can create a new community. It is widely accepted that if individuals spend their time at

Add an article

show examples

celebration, they can communicate with

other family

Change the wording

another family

other families

show examples

As a result

, they can develop their soft skills.

For instance

, the community can get a benefit from these communications, because it can lead to prosperity.

Secondly

, the

dinner

can leave good memories. The important thing is that individuals get various emotions and enjoyment.

For example

, many

crowd

Change to a plural noun

crowds

show examples

can feel sadness, when they are graduated from universities or schools. To conclude,

although

celebrations of events can bring various emotions and amusement, personally, I believe that their number should be regulated

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

can waste their money.

In addition

, it can create some minor problems for the health.

Submitted by bhajan.verma on Tue Apr 13 2021

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

extravagant
frivolous
lavish
unnecessary
excessive
consumerism
unrealistic
social bonds
milestones
local businesses
celebrate
memorable
nostalgic
cherish
community

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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

Your opinion

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in University in many countries. Why? Effects on society

In some countries fast food restaurants and supermakets give money to schools to promote their products. do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part-time job. Write a letter to the restaurant's manager. In your letter, -explain that you would like to apply for the job -give some details of any relevant experience that you have -specify the days and times that would suit you

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.