IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

"Directors deserve higher salaries than ordinary employees." (Agree

In today's fast-paced corporate world, income inequality within
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 has become a subject of considerable debate. Some argue that company
directors
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 should be paid significantly more than regular workers,
while
Linking Words
 others hold a contrasting view. I completely agree with
this
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 perspective for two main reasons
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 the greater responsibilities
directors
Use synonyms
 shoulder and the critical impact of their
decisions
Use synonyms
 on the company’s success. One primary reason why I agree is that
directors
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 are entrusted with far more significant responsibilities than regular employees.
This
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 is primarily
due to
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 the fact that they are accountable for the long-term strategy, financial health, and
overall
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 direction of the company, which requires extensive experience and advanced decision-making skills.
For instance
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, if a director mismanages the company’s resources or fails to navigate a crisis, it could lead to substantial financial loss or even bankruptcy.
This
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 level of pressure and accountability justifies their higher compensation.
Furthermore
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, another significant point to consider is that
directors
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’
decisions
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 directly influence the livelihood of all employees and the performance of the business.
This
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 is because they are involved in high-stakes negotiations, risk assessment, and major corporate
decisions
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 that determine the company’s growth and stability. To illustrate, a well-executed merger decision made by the board of
directors
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 could lead to increased profits and more job opportunities for staff,
whereas
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 a wrong move could result in layoffs. In conclusion, I firmly believe that paying
directors
Use synonyms
 more than ordinary employees is justifiable
due to
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 the weight of their responsibilities and the far-reaching consequences of their
decisions
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.
To sum up
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, I completely agree with the idea that
directors
Use synonyms
 should earn more, as it brings about effective leadership and long-term sustainability for the company.
This
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 highlights the undeniable impact of leadership quality on the
overall
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 success of modern
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your arguments are clear and well-structured. Make sure each point is fully developed with evidence or examples.
coherence
Your essay flows well from one point to the next. Consider adding more linking words to enhance transitions between ideas.
task achievement
While you have good examples, ensure each one relates directly to the main argument to strengthen your points further.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
task achievement
You used specific examples to support your ideas, which is great for clarity.
coherence
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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