IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they at least 18 years old, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years
It is true that
students
 receive full-time study until they are 18 years old,
However
. Some people do not agree. I think that the
students
 should receive their education until they reach adulthood. Receiving full-time study is crucial for
students
, who gain basic knowledge of various subjects through courses, they work hard so that they can get a great result,
besides
 study the
students
 need to learn communication because schools just like the society they had to get social skills, like teamwork, leadership, active listening, and other abilities.
In addition
 , a full-time
school
 certainly gives children a certain degree of protection. Some of the
students
 may drop out of
school
 due to their family's can not afford tuition, so they had to enter society early. In the end, they may not find a satisfying job will go astray. If offence at
school
, the teachers instil moral educations in them the crime has been reducing, So,
students
 ought to be in
school
 until they reach adulthood. But,
this
 does not mean that all
students
 have to stay until the age of eighteen. After all, not all
students
 good at studies, like gymnasts they need to develop their hobbies early because they will be retired as an adult. In conclusion, not all
students
 need to receive full-time education.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: