there should be tighter control over fast food, drug and alcohol trade. to what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that these days people have become involved in an argument about fast
food
Use synonyms
should be effectively regulated in the same way that the
drug
Use synonyms
,
alcohol
Use synonyms
and
tobacco
Use synonyms
industries are being put into effect. From my point of view, fast
food
Use synonyms
does not need to be largely tightened
such
Linking Words
harsh restrictions on that reasons.
First
Linking Words
of all, fast
food
Use synonyms
does not do so much harm to human as drugs,
alcohol
Use synonyms
or
tobacco
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as you will use junk
food
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of home-cooked to save time when you are in
rush
Correct article usage
a rush
show examples
so it plays a vital part in
fast
Add an article
the fast
show examples
pace of life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it contributes lots of big money to taxes.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is fast
food
Use synonyms
chains that provide ample job opportunities,
therefore
Linking Words
, lessen the amount of money wasting on unemployment concerns.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
junk foods mention health problems
such
Linking Words
as obesity and diabetes so there is no injury that can cause to another person by having a quick meal, while a
drug
Use synonyms
addiction can commit
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
crime
such
Linking Words
as robbery, kidnapping or rape unconsciously.
In addition
Linking Words
, a huge intake of fast
food
Use synonyms
can hardly be harmful, which is not the same as
alcohol
Use synonyms
,
drug
Use synonyms
or
tobacco
Use synonyms
, just one glass of wine will possibly lead to a severe accident on road. I strongly believe that it will be more beneficial if the government keep the
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
industries under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less strict control than the other sectors including
drug
Use synonyms
,
tobacco
Use synonyms
and
alcohol
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nhathoang.161286 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: