The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

The inequality between privileged and underprivileged
nations
proliferates
by
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with
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passing
Correct article usage
the passing
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days. There are two main causes behind
this
occurrence including
uneducation
Correct your spelling
education
and overpopulation.
This
essay will put forward optimal solutions to
this
pressing problem. First and foremost, being unlettered is a prominent reason for
this
significant concern. Uneducated people cannot find their desirable jobs, so they cannot be involved in their nation's contribution,
whereas
the educated find their admirable jobs, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
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continuous increase in earnings.
Therefore
, these skilful citizens are more likely to contribute more powerfully to national development.
This
incident may have severe repercussions for
nations
' economic growth, and it makes a difference between countries. To narrow the gap, those in power should erect state schools with quality education for the needy and help them achieve decent occupations. With a more competent workforce, society will thrive faster, and
this
harmful phenomenon will end.
Furthermore
, overpopulation is a primary reason for discrepancies between wealthy and poverty-stricken
nations
. To be more specific, natural resources have become scarce in areas where uncontrolled population growth is taking place.
As a result
, civilians of the
nations
may face a shortage of daily
necessaries
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necessities
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and, in a worst-case scenario, be prone to a financial crisis, impoverishing these lands. To mitigate
this
trend, the stronger countries should provide financial aid to the weaker ones, and authorities in more fiscally disadvantaged communities should give all of the dwellers proper knowledge and training about population and birth control, a catalyst for societal blossoming. In conclusion, one of the leading root causes of the difference between rich and poor countries is illiteracy. So, everyone must receive early age quality education, and it is wise to say that the whole world is a giant family living together, and the suffering of one will take
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
smile from the other's face. Helping each other should be the principal priority.
Submitted by trananh.khang159 on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay provides a comprehensive response to the question, including two main causes and solutions to reduce the gap. However, the response could be improved by providing more specific examples and elaborating on the solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported and presented in a coherent manner. However, the essay could benefit from stronger connections between ideas and more varied cohesive devices to enhance coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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