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Band 5

Some people think children should attend extra classes after school,while others disagree.Discuss both opinions and give your own view.

#people #children #classes #school
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In
this
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modern time
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modern-time
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modern time
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,we face numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
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challenging
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challenges
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 in the competitive world.
Parents
Use synonyms
 want their
children
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become
Add the particle
to become
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 brilliant in an academics field owing to they prefer to arrange
Use synonyms
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
classes
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 for them.
However
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,other folks have opposite perspectives.From my point of view,
parents
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 should arrange
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tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
classes
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 for those
children
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 who actually struggling with their study at
school
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. There are
pelthora
Correct your spelling
plethora
 of reasons that some people favour
to
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apply
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private
Use synonyms
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
children
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 can again
reterive
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retrieve
 and recover their lessons by tutor
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 study at
school
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.
Secondly
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,if
children
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 do more concentration and consideration toward education
then
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 they can
spent
Change the verb form
spend
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 less time on other useless pursuits
such
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 as chatting,play video games and watching TV.
Furthermore
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,with the help of
Correct article usage
a tutor
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tutor
Add a comma
,tutor
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 they can focus on
pinpoint
Add an article
the pinpoint
a pinpoint
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of
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apply
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their
syllbus
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syllabus
 as well as learn about enact role of disciplinarian. On
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Change the wording
another
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 side,having private
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tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
also
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 has its demerits.Sometimes
Use synonyms
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 faculty prescribe extra study works to
children
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,and it seems to be like
burden
Add an article
a burden
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 for them.
Moreover
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,a number of
parents
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 cannot afford
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tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 fees at the same time when they are paying high fees to
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school
Add an article
the school
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.
Additionally
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,some
of
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apply
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Use synonyms
children
Add an article
the children
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 consider
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tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
classes
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 as just to finish their
school
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 work without
comprehend
Change the verb form
comprehending
show examples
about
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apply
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solutions by themselves. I personally believe,private
tutions
Correct your spelling
tuitions
tutors
 provide those of
children
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 who weak and least
capabilitiesto
Correct your spelling
capabilities to
 grasp
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 things during
school
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.
However
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,some
parents
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 have unreasonable expectations.They
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 their
children
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 private
Use synonyms
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 though perform well
acdemically
Correct your spelling
academically
.
This
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 is not good at all because it is necessary that
children
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also
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 participate in other activities for their good health. To summarize,it is beneficial
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
Use synonyms
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
classes
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 but those who really
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 ones.
In contrast
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,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are doing well in their education in
school
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,so they can show their
fascinationin
Correct your spelling
fascination in
fascination
 other pursuits.
Submitted by Narinderpal on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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