IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In modern societies, it is possible for people to go shopping, work and communicate via the internet without face-to-face communication. Is it a positive or negative development?

#societies #people #work #internet #communication #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The advancement in technology has uncertainly changed people’s lifestyle. Nowadays people are able to do their shopping, work and communicate with each other via the internet. In my opinion, while there are some drawbacks of having less facial communication, I believe there are
also
Linking Words
 clear positive aspects of
this
Linking Words
 trend. There is no denying that individuals can save time and money with the use of the Internet.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people can contact a person or conduct meetings by using the network tools which are mostly free,
such
Linking Words
 as WeChat, QQ, ZOMM, etc. so they can be more flexible in working hours. As for online shopping, it is more convenient and effective to purchase everything through the internet since we have massive options of goods and we can order them on a computer without leaving our homes. Admittedly,
this
Linking Words
 trend has many benefits, but there are some problems that should not be ignored.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the relationship between citizens will become more alienated without adequate face-to-face communication.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it will put a threat on our social skills since they all get addicted to network life and have less opportunity to talk to someone.
Lastly
Linking Words
, under
this
Linking Words
 influence, it is much possible for people, especially
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young teenagers, to feel lonely and isolated because their emotional needs cannot be satisfied without communicating with their friends and families. In conclusion, it is a positive development for us to have so many choices for communication, meanwhile，we need to pay more attention to the potential negative effects it brings to us.
Submitted by yaoyaoliu611 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: