Nowadays men sport is given far more attention in the society than women sport. What are the reasons? Do you think is it a positive or negative situation?

The prevailing perception among the majority is that
individuals
from Generation Z (
GenZ
) lack the reliability exhibited by their ancestors.
This
viewpoint often attributes
this
shift to the pursuit of economic opportunities in a capitalist society.
However
,
this
essay posits that despite concerns about integrity,
this
inclination towards financial gain represents progress for society
due to
the resultant economic advancement. The perceived unreliability of
GenZ
can be traced back to the evolving landscape of global capitalism. As the global economy evolves, new financial and employment prospects emerge, prompting nations worldwide to adopt capitalist frameworks to capitalize on these opportunities.
Consequently
,
individuals
find themselves compelled to expand their networks and compromise on honesty in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of cultivating
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
impressions and relationships to navigate
this
economic paradigm shift.
However
, the propensity of
GenZ
towards perceived unreliability can yield positive outcomes for the
overall
economy.
While
this
inclination may evoke apprehension, it ultimately contributes to bolstering
individuals
' financial portfolios and elevating their living standards. Engaging in transactional relationships can lead
individuals
to actively seek out potential benefits and economic opportunities, thereby enhancing their quality of life.
For instance
, a study conducted by China's leading historical institution revealed that the past decade witnessed an unprecedented surge in global innovation, largely attributed to the contributions of the younger generation, including
GenZ
. In conclusion, the perception of
GenZ
as less trustworthy compared to their predecessors arises from the pervasive influence of capitalism in society.
Nevertheless
,
this
trend represents a beneficial development for the world, as it fosters economic growth and advancement on a global scale.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to carefully read and address the topic given. Your essay seems to have missed the specified topic, which discussed the attention disparity between men's and women's sports, not the reliability of Generation Z. This affects both your task achievement and coherence scores.
coherence and cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clearer statement of your main argument, making sure it directly relates to the question. Include a conclusion that summarizes your argument succinctly. This aids understanding and structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. Ensure each paragraph directly supports your main point, improving cohesion and coherence.
task response
Although you provided examples, make sure they are specifically relevant to the question asked. Relevant, specific examples strengthen your argument and improve task achievement. Consider rephrasing your examples to directly correlate with the discussion about the perception of sports in society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: