IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People today are more concerned with owning material possessions than with developing friendships and family relationships. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #possessions #friendships #relationships
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Some individuals think that the importance of material
consideration
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 is more significant than bonding relationships with their
friends
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 and
families
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 for
people
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 in the modern
world
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. In my opinion, capitalist and competitive
world
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 structure has forced material
possessions
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 amongst individuals and
also
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 social
media
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 is another main driver for increasing
people
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's desire of buying,
thus
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people
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 have become fewer participants in their family and friendship. The aim of
this
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 essay is to discuss the argument and it will represent relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, it is important to bear in mind that consumerism is one of the fundamental reasons behind the desire of possessing material.
People
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 have been forced to be consumerists in the capitalist
world
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. In
this
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 way, the cork of capitalism can be spun with the demand of
people
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 for buying. To illustrate that many advertisements on the mainstream
media
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 can entice
people
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's instinct for owning unnecessary
possessions
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. Spending time for earning income has been increased
instead
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 of spending time for socialising.
Consequently
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,
people
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 have started to be more material focused
instead
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 of their
friends
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 and
families
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.
Secondly
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, as another reason, the desire for a self demonstration to the public has increased with the breakthrough innovations and doubtlessly social
media
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such
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 as Instagram and Facebook are the paramount ones.
For example
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, with the development of social
media
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,
people
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 can share their everything, not only their
possessions
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 but
also
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 their event,
for instance
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, holiday, concert and even their dinner. In
this
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 way, they are able to create a fake perception of other thoughts.
Therefore
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, showing their
possessions
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 in order to demonstrate their value to the public have started to be a relentless loop for
people
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 and there is no doubt that material
consideration
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 of
people
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 has increased in the computer era. For
this
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 reason,
people
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 are more concerning the power of money than their relatives. To summarize, more
consideration
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 of owning material
possessions
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 can be seen amongst
people
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 in the modern
world
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.
Although
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, the importance of bonding relationships in the
families
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 and
friends
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, many
people
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 have started to be more consumerist and materialist in the capitalist
world
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.
This
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essay
Correct your spelling
assay
show examples
 showed that the capitalist
world
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 has been enticing individuals to owning more
possessions
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 and
also
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 usage of social
media
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 has increased material
consideration
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,
hence
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 relationships between
families
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 and
friends
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 have been decreasing due to possessing.
Submitted by serhat.kayaa3 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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