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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe advertisements have positive effect on people and business while others do not. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #advertisements #effect #business
There are different arguments
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related to the relevance of the result
advertisements
 have on people and their businesses. In terms of
this
, certain advocate
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that it has a positive impact and is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 while others are of the
opinion
 that its effect
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 negative and
ditrimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
.
However
, in my perspective, I believe that
tht
Correct your spelling
the
 result of
advertisements
 on humans
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
advantagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 in many ways.
To begin
 with, it
also
 can
be understand
Change the verb form
understand
show examples
 that
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 are of the
opinion
 that
advertisements
 have a bad influence on us. There are two major reasons.
First
 of all, the content of ads for promotion has a lot of vulgarity and impropriety. For
exampl
Correct your spelling
example
, smoking and overdrinking contents
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of negative impacts
toward
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our younger generation.
Secondly
, there are by
purpose made
Add a hyphen
purpose-made
show examples
 overvalue certain
products
 so that the sales increase.
In other words
, there are
products
 that are low quality but projected by celebrity's endorsements to promote sales.
This
 increases their profits but common people are fooled
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end.
On the other hand
, some people and I stand of the
opinion
 that
advertisements
 positively impacts
on
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apply
show examples
our lives. There are several reasons. To elaborate, most
of
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apply
show examples
ads
Add an article
the ads
show examples
 teach knowledge to us.
For example
, the
recycle
Replace the word
recycling
show examples
 company advertised the worse case of the world if there is no
alarmed
Replace the word
alarm
show examples
 how important
of
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apply
show examples
recycling.
This
 would give a lesson to
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and pay more attention
on
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the topic. Another point to be highlighted is that advertising
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 us more
opinion
 on choosing
products
.
For example
, each company presenting the features and specialist of
products
 that will give
comsumer
Correct your spelling
consumers
consumer
 a better view of buying.
Lastly
, as they have a direct effect reflects on markets and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
, ads can be a good method to promote and educate on
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 field. In a
nutshall
Correct your spelling
nutshell
, even if some find displays in a negative shade, I still believe that they have a positive influence on human lives.
Submitted by janetchen1908 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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