Living in a house is better than living in an apartment. Do you agree and disagree.

Living in a
house
has more advantages than living in an apartment. Some people favour
this
whilst others have a contrasting viewpoint. I believe living in
house
Correct article usage
a house

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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has more advantages because
houses
are airy and expandable. 
Firstly
,
houses
are airy which makes
these
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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more comfortable to live in. Humans need proper oxygen to breathe well.
This
is the basic necessity of them. If the place where they live
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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is airy,
this
basic requirement is fulfilled. They feel comfortable and relax due to
this
.
For example
,
sone
Correct your spelling
some

The word sone doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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houses
have gardens which have trees,
this
helps to keep the
houses
windy and cool.
Secondly
,
houses
are easy to expand.
Rooms
in the
houses
can be increased. If the requirement
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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rooms
increase
Change the verb form
increases

The plural verb increase does not appear to agree with the singular subject requirement. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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, new
rooms
can be built.
For instance
, generally with the birth of a child in the family,
children's
Correct article usage
a children's

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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room is needed. If
family
Add an article
the family
a family

The noun phrase family seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is staying in a
house
, they can build new
rooms
.
This
is not possible
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if
family
Add an article
the family

The noun phrase family seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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stays in an apartment.
Hence
,
this
advantage is enjoyable if families live in a
house
. In conclusion, living in a
house
has more advantages than in an apartment. I completely agree with
this
notion because
houses
are windy which helps people to breathe well and these are easy to expand, new
rooms
can be built according to the requirement.
Submitted by Priya on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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