As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transported long distances . Do benefits of this trend outweigh disadvantages

While
international business has been increasing, many stuff, which we use regularly, are produced in other countries and should be transported
long
Correct word choice
to long-term
show examples
destination. It has more drawbacks for our society, and
this
essay will argue that it has a negative effect on our economic systems, and decreases the force
workers
Change preposition
of workers
show examples
.
To begin
with, when the
goods
are produced in another country the prices of them are increased. It means that many people have to work hard in their companies and they need monthly income.
Then
, the
goods
have to be replaced, which need much more
money
, and
as a result
, when everything is done the prices of
goods
are increased. So the population in their own community have to spend more
money
to buy
this
typical product.
For example
, gas does not exist in the UK and they should allocate enormous
money
to bring it to their country. So
this
extremely proves that it has a negative impact on the government.
Additionally
, with
this
universal business, many people could be unemployed in their local areas.
For instance
, Chinese companies need workers,
however
, they tend to use local workers for the products,
therefore
many folks can be workless in other countries since their own communication cannot produce the
goods
for their folks. Despite the above reasons, it could be beneficial for our environment,
due to
less garbage, as mass production brings a lot of environmental pollution.
Nevertheless
, having a better quality of life is more important for every society. In conclusion, universal business has more disadvantages for our nation. Not only is it more expensive, but
also
it is uneconomic.
Thus
, many people have to spend much more
money
on their daily expenses.
Moreover
, much younger can be idle their entire life.
Submitted by pooya.olad on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that all aspects of the question are addressed comprehensively. Expand on how the decreased workforce and economic impacts affect society in both short and long terms, providing more specific examples. Aim for a deeper analysis rather than just stating the negative impacts.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use transition words and phrases more effectively to ensure a better logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay easy to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Polish your introductory and concluding paragraphs. A clear and engaging introduction that outlines the main points and a strong conclusion that summarizes your arguments will help improve the overall structure of your essay.
overall structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The main points are distinct and presented in an organized manner.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses the negative economic impact of international trade on local prices and employment, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

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