IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

A COUNTRY BECOME MORE INTERESTING AND DEVELOPS MORE QUICKLY WHEN IT HAS A POPULATION INCLUDES A MIXTURE OF NATIONALITIES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#country #population #mixture #nationalities
Initiatives can be implemented to improve
this
 situation. The
gGovernment
Correct your spelling
government
 needs to take steps to pass a law to ban littering. If there is no one
throw
Fix the infinitive
to throw
show examples
 trash on the streets, in the rivers, or at seas,…there will possibly be less pollution. Because of that,
this
 turns out the solution for both global warming and sea levels rising. I believe that the change must start with families and where parents and teachers need to educate students to care for the environment
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
 they care for themselves. One reason is that caring for the environment is helping
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
 in the
future
. These kids will become adults and have big influences in the
future
.
Last
 but not least, fairly speaking, individuals should
also
 act responsibly. If not, our world will never be better.
Oneself
Correct pronoun usage
One
show examples
 can be taught a lot about the
thread
Correct your spelling
threat
show examples
 of global warming. But if he, himself shows no effort in it, there will be no change in the
future
. In conclusion, global warming and
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 of sea levels will definitely endanger our
future
 lives unless parents, teachers and individuals take actions.
Submitted by Dương Nguyễn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: