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Band 6

Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #subjects #school #students
It is often argued whether or not
art
 classes should be mandatory for teenage
students
.
Although
 I understand it seems not having prominent effects on youngster's future careers as academic subjects, I totally disagree with
this
 view
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and believe
art
 curriculums empowers children in various perspective.
First
 of all, to parents' anxiety of time spending on subjects other than traditional academic ones, creative activities
in fact
Add the comma(s)
, in fact,
show examples
 prepare pupils to better understanding towards them.
Art
 training
such
 as exploring different media and topics are fundamental to math science which imagination and inspiring ideas are essential to
further
 develop
profession
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professional
show examples
 abilities.
In addition
,
art
 itself is a
collect
Replace the word
collection
show examples
 of culture, literature and history.
Students
 often feel more attached by participating
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 a historical play, which
spurring
Change the form of the verb
spurred
show examples
 them to get involved in the research of the topic.
Therefore
,
art
 activities are not only for leisure pastime
,
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apply
show examples
 but support and enlarge young
students
' capacity towards complex academic studies.
On the other hand
, creative classes
also
 play an imperative role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 adolescents' mental health and wellbeing.
Throughout
Change preposition
Through
show examples
 hands-on creative projects, the young could have a break from the highly
competent
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
 academic environment.
For example
, pottery or sculpture classes
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 entail larger physical involvement are the most enjoyable for most young learners.
Moreover
, team projects
such
 as band, theatre, and performing arts are perfect activities to train their skills of communication, expression and teamwork[U]. These interpersonal skills are of profound impact on future profession and relationships in their life. In conclusion, despite being deemed as no direct benefit to teen
students
 ' academic performance, I consider arts curriculum build the foundation of youngsters' capacity to future challenges.
Submitted by cuteyedda on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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